Interviewer – Welcome to another lively chat with Timothy Carter’s characters. Today we’re interviewing three of the main characters from The Five Demons You Meet In Hell. Why don’t you all introduce yourselves?
B – I’m Boston Lefebvre, an’ I’m the guy the book’s all about.
C – I’m Charity, a former assassin and current denizen of Hell.
S – My name is Stonmold, and I’m one of the demons who works in Hell’s Spiritual Rehabilitation Centre.
I – Right. Thank you. Now, I understand you’ve all signed non-disclosure agreements with regards to the plot…
B – Yah. The author guy doesn’t want us givin’ away all the good stuff.
S – He said if we did give spoilers, he’d write us into another story and do nasty things to us.
B – Basically what he did to me in the whole damn book! Heh… damn book? Cuz it’s about damned people…
I – Yes, and we’ll get to that. But first, Boston Lefebvre, what is up with that name of yours?
S – It is pretty unusual.
C – Look who’s talking…
B – Well, my dad’s name is Lefebvre, an’ he an’ my mom met in Boston, an’ so I guess they called me Boston cuz the city makes ‘em feel all romantic an’ stuff.
S – I thought that Boston was the city where you were conceived.
B – I don’t think so. I never been to the U.S. so nobody could have driven me in a conceivable there.
I – Um…
S – …
C – He doesn’t know what conceived means.
B – Whut?
S – Inconceivable!
I – Moving along! Charity, we never do learn your last name in the novel. Care to enlighten us?
C – No.
I – All right, can you tell us about your first name?
C – My parents had three daughters: Faith, Hope and Charity. And the most important daughter was Hope.
I – Really?
B – Ya never told me that!
S – That’s because she’s making it up.
C – Yep.
I – So…
C – I’m bored, and trying to amuse myself. My name? Timothy Carter probably thought it was ironic.
I – Ok then. Stonmold, your name…
S – No idea. It’s a demon name. Don’t ask.
I – Right. So far, so good. Now, bearing in mind we don’t want to spoil anything, what can you three tell me about the story?
B – It’s all about me! I got a character ark where I learn stuff an’ become a better person.
S – He’s a high school bully who dies and goes to Hell.
C – I’m one of many fascinating secondary characters he meets in the Spiritual Rehabilitation Centre.
B – That’s where the demon stuff happens.
C – We each have to face five demons, who present us with our worst sins. I was an assassin, so my being in Hell is pretty self-explanatory.
S – I’m one of the Demons who works in the SRC. When I meet Boston, we don’t immediately get along. But we do become friendlier eventually.
C – I befriend Boston because… you know, I’m still not entirely sure what I was thinking.
B – I helped ya with escape plans, remember?
C – If by helped you mean, you were my comedy sidekick…
B – Whatever. I’m in Hell because I was a bully. But then I find out that there’s somethin’ wrong with the demon system…
S – Spoilers!
B – …an’ I end up bein’ blamed for somebody else’s sins. Someone a lot worse’n me.
S – Definitely a spoiler.
C – Timothy Carter’s gonna kick your ass.
B – No he ain’t. Book’s already done, so there ain’t nuthin’ worse he can do ta me now.
C – You do know he’s writing a sequel, right?
B – Whut?!?
S – Yes, you’re to be a recurring character. Didn’t he tell you?
B – Hey, that’s a spoilsport right there! Now everybuddy knows I don’t die at the end of this book.
C – You die at the end of the first CHAPTER, moron.
S – That’s how you end up getting sent to Hell.
B – Spoilsport!
C – Spoiler, Boston. It’s called a spoiler.
S – And that was just a minor one. Timothy gives it away in the first sentence.
B – Oh.
I – Let’s move on, shall we? I was hoping to interview a larger number of characters from the book…
S – More wanted to come, but there were plot-points attached to them. Having them here would have been awkward.
B – Like this girl I meet in there, an’ I kinda like her, but turns out she’s…
C & S – Spoilers!
B – Oh yeah.
I – I wanted to talk a bit more about you, Boston. A number of Timothy Carter’s characters can be described as intelligent but bad-tempered. And while you have the bad temperament down pat, you are… how shall I put this…?
B – Cooler? Better? Tougher!
I – Dumber.
B – Hey!
C – Come on, Boston. It’s not like you try to hide it.
S – Yes. You are quite amazingly stupid.
B – HEY!! I am NOT!
C – Yes you are.
B – That’s it! Nobody told me this was a character assassin thing! I’m outta here.
C – Come on, Boston, don’t be such a crybaby.
B – I ain’t no crybaby!
(loud door slam)
I – Well, Boston has left the building, so I suppose there’s no point in continuing.
S – What are we? Chopped liver?
C – We haven’t even gotten around to my escape attempts!
S – Spoilers!
I – Thank you all very much for reading.
C – And go get your copy of The Five Demons You Meet In Hell, launching April 30 at Ad Astra!
S – Did Timothy Carter pay you to say that?
C – Sort of. He promised me a spot in book 3.